Friday, July 22, 2011
So this weekend only internet is killing me. My current accommodation has no internet so I only get it when I come home in the weekends and this is incidentally the only reason I come home. And when I get home I immediately hop into my pjs and sit in bed watching youtube clips. Nothing is better than youtube clips in bed with a cup of tea or coffee. I have never appreciated internet so much!
So here's where I put my thank yous. Thank you to anyone and everyone who has still be reading this blog! Awesome is not an awesome enough word to describe what I think of you! It's nice to have someone reading because that way I feel like I'm accountable. If it was just me going at this alone, I'd have given up long ago. I don't think I'm worth half a hoot so who cares if I don't get what I want. But if I have to report to other people and potentially let them down, that's motivation right there.
I think that in a while I will load some pictures of myself on here. They are yucky pictures but hopefully having them on here will kick my butt into gear and motivate me to never look like this ever again.
I've also had an idea about trial clothes. I love trial clothing, or more specifically, I love the feeling of being able to fit into trial clothing that was once too tight or too ugly. The thing is, I'm struggling with my measurements. Since I'm not in a position where I can access American sizing, and I've never seen it before, I don't really know how to gauge my size. I'm measuring myself and it would appear I'm around a size 2. But I look down and I see rolls and rolls of fat so I find that so hard to believe. Then I was shopping online for some tops and stumbled across a top with measurements then realised that this was a child's top. Children's size 12. Even though I will never be able to fit into the smaller children's sizes because I'm not a child and not that short and don't have hips that narrow, I should be able to wear the larger child's tops and skirts and dresses. I've not changed height since I was 12 so I should be able to fit into children's size 12.
So I'm going to buy a few items of children's clothing and see how that goes.
I wonder if I will ever reach my goal. It feels like I will never be able to lose enough weight to please myself. I know how much I want to weight but all weight loss has stopped. I just can't get there fast enough.