Tuesday, October 2, 2012

sugars, I'm going down!

Skinny...all the voices screaming....skinny. 

Well, I've been back here for all of one day and I'm already extremely glad that I'm back. I have so missed the support and the communication and being able to let my ED voice scream as much as it wants to. 

Wanted to let you all know that I am now 51.5kg. Going down! Going in the right direction! Faster than I had ever hoped for! 51.5kg!!!!!! I'm only 1.5kg away from 50kg which is a weight I've never been at before. In fact, what I weigh now is the lowest I've ever been. I have never been this low before and babes, I'm so not stopping here.

I couldn't sleep last night. Part of it was because of the 2 day hangover I have inflicted upon myself after drinking my own body weight in whiskey in Scotland over the weekend. The other part of it was because I was up for hours, feeling my bones. I have never been able to feel so many ribs. And even though none of my bones really stick out, I know they are closer to sticking out. 

One step closer! I'm going to keep this up, this is too good to let go. I haven't felt so happy for such a long time. Nothing, NOTHING compares to the joy of losing another pound, another kilo. 

I'm still not convinced I see much of a difference. But I have no full length mirror. Oh, and another thing. The bottom of my thighs no longer touch each other. It's not a massive step, because what really counts is when the top of your thighs don't touch. But for me, this is a sign that things are going well. The bottom of my thighs don't touch, even when my knees are touching. I'm loving this. 

For the first time in a long time I believe that I will get there one day. And now I see that when I start work at the end of this year, the weight loss will just continue. 

I love you all so much! And hold onto it, just hold on. Because even though things might seem terrible, joy will come with the promise of another pound off. I was once so down in the dumps, but now that I'm losing weight again, I'm so happy. I'm not even trying to hide it. I want people to see that I've lost weight. 

If nobody notices my weight loss when I get home, I will be seriously disappointed. But I have another 4 weeks to make it more obvious. And I will. 


  1. Wooohooo! Congrats!
    Hello! I found you thru a comment you left on Size Zero Intentions. Hi!
    Welcome back. And ignore any haters. They're just losers who know they are irrelevant and they bully nice peeps like you in an attempt to forget just how irrelevant they are.
    Welcome back!

  2. I'm glad your back darling. This is the only place I feel at home at the moment and I'm always happy to see a familiar face. <3