Saturday, November 24, 2012

my last message ever to the haters.

Let me be brief about this, because this is not the first time that I've left a message to haters who comment on my blog. But it will be the last time.

I've tried, time and again to reason with you all. I know that having a blog like this, and putting my opinion out like this will inevitably attract the attention of those who do not agree with me. Yes, I know this will be most of society. I'm not saying that my opinion is "correct", but it is my opinion, and it is the reality that I live in. 

I don't ask anyone to agree with me (although it is nice when you do) but I do expect common courtesy. If you disagree, do not blatantly attack me with comments. What do you think that will achieve? That calling me a selfish, senseless, ignorant bad doctor will suddenly make me think "oh gosh! they're right! I've decided not to have an ED after all!" 

If anyone thinks that, well, God help them. You may detect that I've got a hint of resentment in this, and that's because I'm sick and tired of repeating myself. Leaving me, or any pro-ana blog comments like that is not caring, it does not show compassion or empathy, it's not anything good. It's just an attack, nothing more. And it's juvenile. 

If you are clearly not pro-ana, if you do not want to lose weight, if you do not have an eating disorder, please, please, please do not waste your time on my blog, or any of the other blogs. Time is precious. I spend time here because it's a release for me. If spending time here angers you, angers you enough to leave such hateful remarks, do yourself a favour, don't waste your time here, making yourself miserable. 

Feel blessed that ED isn't one of the things that haunts you, and leave this world of ours alone. 

So let me just say this: any comment left on my blog that is derogatory, insulting, rude, aggressive will be deleted on sight. 

Yes, it still hurts me to read those comments, they were the reason I deleted my blog earlier in the year after all. But now I've learnt that if I let them get to me like that, then I will lose my only outlet. If my last attempt is any indication, I will then rapidly spiral into depression, increasingly suicidal ideation, and with a job, I may just do it this time. 

And finally this leads me to a message of thanks. 

Firstly, thank you to all my followers, I can't believe there are now 100 of you. Thank you for your continued support through all my ups and many, many downs and your kind and patient words. 

Secondly, thank you to faithandmeow. I know that we do not see eye to eye on this whole issue. But I really do appreciate the fact that you show me respect in your comments, you have never attacked me in them, and have yet been able to make your point clear, standing on the opposing side. I wish all the hecklers were as mature as you. 


  1. I'm sorry people keep pestering you on here... That's not right considering this is supposed to be an outlet to express our feelings and frustrations. Having an ED isn't easy and people don't seem to understand it... Just know that I am really glad to have you!! Reading your posts and comments always helps me get through the day :D

  2. I'm sorry that people have spewed hatred towards you. Nobody asks to have an ED, even if you think you 'want' it, it's obvious to me through your writing that you don't really have a choice or control in this. It controls you, you are just doing the best you can with what you have at the moment. And since when is that a crime? It's not.

    I really appreciate that you thanked me, I was worried that you saw my comments as hater comments and I never meant them to come across that way. Sometimes I do get blunt or harsh - but as one person fighting this to another - we need people to keep reminding us that the most precious thing in all of this is our LIFE. And that we could so easily lose that. I also know it's not that simple, and that if preserving health and life was enough to motivate us to stop, hell, there wouldn't be a need for eating disorders services would there be? I want you to remember you are not alone, and that there isn't anything in what you are doing that makes you a bad person - it's harmful, and I hope so much that you come to a point where you are ready and able to fight against it instead of see it as an ally, but I've come to realise that our ED's at some point in our lives, actually save our lives. We need them, for different reasons, and they are all that get us through that particular time.

    I hope that people who are reading this and directing vitriol towards Judith really examine your motives and your words. You are only doing more harm to Judith by spewing nastiness at her. You aren't going to change her mind, and you aren't going to scare her ED away - if it were that simple! Kindness always achieves far more than nastiness.

    I think too, people might be outraged that you are a doctor and you do this. But you are far from the first doctor. There are nurses, doctors, scientists, teachers, politicians, rich girls, poor girls. People DO get eating disorders even in third world countries (just aren't identified as there aren't the services TO identify them). They don't discriminate. If anything, it must be many times scarier to have your medical knowledge and skills and yet be unable to reason with your ED or save your own health yet.

    I certainly does NOT diminish your ability to work as a doctor and help others, as long as you make sure you are sufficiently able to physically cope with the work.

    It's really nobody else's business either - no doctor's private life is your business. The argument that putting it on the internet makes it public, or that it's free speech is invalid too. She's not inviting your criticism and has asked you to stop. No matter what you think of someone else or what they have written or done, you do NOT ever have the right to abuse them, either publicly or privately. You also are in fact, abusing her right to free speech by trying to shut her up.

    Judith, no I don't agree with being pro-ana and that's only because of how much anorexia has stolen from me. But I understand it has it's place and it to some extent helps us survive a time when we otherwise could not, it also isn't as simple as just choosing to be different. Hang in there and best wishes. xx

  3. This blog is meant to be for you to express and share your feelings, you have the right to post what you want!!

    I nominated your blog for the Liebster Blog Award, it's pretty fun to do, just have a look at my blog for details :) xx

  4. You have been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award! <3
    love always,