Tuesday, April 2, 2013
it's a date...I wish.
"Constant overstimulation numbs me but I would not have it any other way."
Well my tattoo has now reached the horrible itchy, peely stage and I'm going mad not scratching it. I've never wanted to scratch something so much in all my life, except all my other tattoos at this stage. I need to stop thinking about it because I swear thinking about it makes it all that much more itchy. OMG it's so itchy!
Spent all of Easter binging like mad. I'm pretty sure I ate non-stop all weekend, literally non-stop. I haven't the heart to weigh myself. I hate to think what it's done to my weight loss efforts. Good thing is, my reg is on night shifts and Joe is relieving him. So I've got him for the week. I can feel the adrenaline pumping all day and all night and I can't eat and I can't sleep and please God, let me lose some weight with this.
I'm back to my old tricks again. I spent so much money today. Several tops, one pair of trousers and two pairs of heels later, I still feel empty as ever. I'm trying to fill a hole that only Joe can fill at this point in time. If I can't have Joe, then I will just continue to look fabulous.
Our coffee date hasn't happened. Not for either of us trying, but logistically, it is too hard. He does apologise, and we try again later. But really, is it a date? I referred to it as one once. But I have a feeling that in his head, he will buy me a coffee, hand it to me, and just go.
Dear Universe, I'm trying to be good, and I'm fairly sure I've never harmed anybody. In my life I haven't asked for too much, not too much at all. Please let me have this one, please, please let me have this one. Give me Joe, and let me take that fate, whatever that may be. Please, let me have this one.