Friday, March 25, 2011
one step at a time, one hope then another
I'm starting to think that my scales at home might not be the most accurate but anyway, they're what I've always weighed myself with so I guess they are good for tracking the amount of weight that I've lost.
So as of last night I am at 54.5kg!!! Yay! I've cracked the 55kg mark! It's amazing because I've not been this small for years.
I also think that even though I weight what I used to, I'm somehow a smaller size than I was when I was last this weight. How is that even possible? It's weird! But I only think that because I was trying on this top that I've not worn for many years now. It's quite stiff and I could never get it to button up, I don't even think I could button it up when I bought it. I've always worn it under stuff because it has nice sleeves.
But today! I could button it up for once and while it is still a little bit tight and so not the most comfortable of tops, I can wear it! It's an amazing feeling.
And also, my old favourite raspberry coloured blouse. I've not fit into it for literally 4 years. And now, I can! It just goes to show that 1. I put on a lot of weight in 4 years. 2. I never really appreciated my size 4 years ago.
Because, I mean, the size I am now feels so skinny compared to what I was before. I'm not deluded enough to think I'm not still fat, because I am still very fat and nowhere near as thin as I'd like to be, but in comparison, this is a huge improvement.
I'm feeling like I'm making leaps and bounds even though I'm so far from my goal weight, this is still very encouraging.
I've bought some 3/4 track pants today. It's the first time in my life that I've been able to wear them and not look like a complete and utter hippo. I still look a bit like a hippo, but not the biggest of hippos so there is progress!!!
Mr D is great motivation. Even though I won't see him again, the thought of him seeing me as a fat pig is plenty enough motivation to eat less.
So I will go forth with another week of 300cal a day meals and hopefully I shall continue to drop weight. I can't wait for my next goal weight of 49kg.