Monday, February 28, 2011
So it's not that easy for me to write another post here. I'm so ashamed of myself that I feel like I can't post on a proana blog that is read by girls who are anorexic and are trying to lose weight.
I think the easiest way to go through this is just be honest. I've been on a 3 day binge. I've had between 800-1000cal each day (which is still lower than my basal metabolic rate so it hasn't been the most horrific binge ever) but it's far from the ABC diet that I'm supposed to be on. I've weighed myself (well, I did last weekend) and it would appear that I've lost no weight at all. I'm so horrified with myself. I am disappointed and angry with myself and ashamed.
I feel like I have no right to have this blog at all, and I by no means deserve to have followers. I have failed all of you. But I promise that I will try harder from now on. I will learn to love the feeling and the peace in starvation even if it kills me.
I will be thin. No matter what.