Spent the weekend on call. Exhausted beyond belief. Seeing patients freaks me out. Being on call makes me realise that in November, I will be the only doctor on call and when someone crashes and start to die, it will be up to me and me alone to do something about it. I'm going to kill so many people.
I so don't feel ready to be a doctor. Unfortunately. I want to be good at it. But right now, I'm just not.
Thanks for all the comments on my last blog post. I'm so glad you enjoyed a more upbeat entry. After a week of being vegan, I'm still loving it. My parents hate it because I can't eat anything they cook. But I'm feeling much more healthy. I have to cook all my own food and it actually tastes better.
Plus, being vegan, I can get away with eating a reasonable amount and actually only taking in 400cal total. On top of that I go to the gym and work off about 300cal. A net intake of 100cal a day. Which is amazing. I must say, I do fatigue much faster at the gym. Much faster. I could normally do about 400-500cal at the gym but I can barely manage 300cal, I'm so tired. Still, it's pretty good progress.
I weighed in at 122lbs at the start of my vegan venture. 7 days in, I've weighed myself again and I'm 118lbs. I'm also stunned at the rate of weight loss. 4lbs a week is more than I had hoped for. And if I can be vegan and be on call for 3 days in a row and survive, then I can be vegan every week.
This means I'm only 3lbs from my next goal weight. I can barely believe that at all. Hopefully by the end of next week I will be at my next goal weight.
During the course of this week I could feel that I was getting thinner. It's an amazing feeling, actually noticing the weight come off. The pants I wore at the start of the week were loose by the end of the week. The denim shorts I wore are so loose that they are falling down.
It's a really odd place to be. On one hand, I can tell that I'm shrinking and that makes me unbelievably happy. But on the other hand, I don't feel any thinner and I'm just noticing more spots that need more fat off. So I guess I am going in the right direction, but I'm not there yet. As of now, at 118lbs, I am 28lbs from my ultimate goal weight. Well, the upper end of my ultimate goal weight. 28lbs seems so far away. I'm not sure if I can do it. But I know I'm trying!
I love you all my lovely skinnies! Stay strong, think thin and together we will be beautiful!
It's awesome that being vegan is working out for you! Do you think you'll stick with it, or was this just a trial period?
ReplyDeleteI love when the weight comes off so quick like that, where you remember an outfit you wore only a few days ago and how it felt to wear, and then you put it back on again and it feel looser, more breezy. Total motivation right there!
Congrats on the progress, keep it up!
xoxo
So happy that you're really enjoying being a vegan! I've been thinking about doing that but don't know if I could actually handle it. I really enjoy meat. Plus, you've been following my blog, you know people would notice and pitch a fit if I attempted it. Their goal is to get me into counseling and on the path to recovery, this would just be a step away from that goal. So now I'll just do with skipping meals, saying no to food, pushing things around my plate, and filling up on diet soda to distract them.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of your progress! And you're going to make a great doctor :D You've made it this far and you'll go so much farther! Even if it seems daunting at the moment.
I'm sure you're a great doctor, you just need to believe in yourself a little more.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the weight loss! My family would freak out completely if I became vegan. Some of my Dad's family own a cattle farm so I grew up around meat. Trying to eat more fish though, maybe that will help with shifting a little weight.
Hope you're doing okay otherwise,
xx