Sunday, January 29, 2012
I'm on call...to be there.
Spent the weekend on call. Exhausted beyond belief. Seeing patients freaks me out. Being on call makes me realise that in November, I will be the only doctor on call and when someone crashes and start to die, it will be up to me and me alone to do something about it. I'm going to kill so many people.
I so don't feel ready to be a doctor. Unfortunately. I want to be good at it. But right now, I'm just not.
Thanks for all the comments on my last blog post. I'm so glad you enjoyed a more upbeat entry. After a week of being vegan, I'm still loving it. My parents hate it because I can't eat anything they cook. But I'm feeling much more healthy. I have to cook all my own food and it actually tastes better.
Plus, being vegan, I can get away with eating a reasonable amount and actually only taking in 400cal total. On top of that I go to the gym and work off about 300cal. A net intake of 100cal a day. Which is amazing. I must say, I do fatigue much faster at the gym. Much faster. I could normally do about 400-500cal at the gym but I can barely manage 300cal, I'm so tired. Still, it's pretty good progress.
I weighed in at 122lbs at the start of my vegan venture. 7 days in, I've weighed myself again and I'm 118lbs. I'm also stunned at the rate of weight loss. 4lbs a week is more than I had hoped for. And if I can be vegan and be on call for 3 days in a row and survive, then I can be vegan every week.
This means I'm only 3lbs from my next goal weight. I can barely believe that at all. Hopefully by the end of next week I will be at my next goal weight.
During the course of this week I could feel that I was getting thinner. It's an amazing feeling, actually noticing the weight come off. The pants I wore at the start of the week were loose by the end of the week. The denim shorts I wore are so loose that they are falling down.
It's a really odd place to be. On one hand, I can tell that I'm shrinking and that makes me unbelievably happy. But on the other hand, I don't feel any thinner and I'm just noticing more spots that need more fat off. So I guess I am going in the right direction, but I'm not there yet. As of now, at 118lbs, I am 28lbs from my ultimate goal weight. Well, the upper end of my ultimate goal weight. 28lbs seems so far away. I'm not sure if I can do it. But I know I'm trying!
I love you all my lovely skinnies! Stay strong, think thin and together we will be beautiful!