Well so my first day back at home was not exactly a good one. Not only have my parents thoroughly gutted my room so that it no longer looks like I live there but I have also been binging. I've had 3 fried chicken nibbles and a cup of coffee today and I'm feeling like a huge pig of pigs.
Now the room thing might not sound like such a big deal but you must understand that my room is my safe place. It's a private place, just for me (and MH, my best friend), every now and then my parents intrude to wake me up but nothing else. So for me to come back and find that they have gone through, touched all my private things and moved everything out of order, it means that my room is no longer my safe place, it's worse than being homeless.
I feel so violated.
Jones hasn't contacted me yet. So yup, he's dead to me. I reckon I've been too hurt to face him so whatever.
Here is some thinspiration that I've been using to kick myself and keep myself focussed, hope it helps someone else!
I tried on an old shirt today, one I haven't worn for a long time. A few months ago it was so tight that I couldn't button it over my chest. Now it's so loose that I couldn't possibly wear it out. I'm so proud! I'm 15lbs lighter than my heaviest weight, slowly getting there!!!!!!!!
Congrats on your weight loss! I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going well at home. I completely relate to the room thing and would just die if that happened to me! Stay strong and remember that ana is always therefore you. They can mess with your room, but YOU control what you eat and no one can take that right away from you. *hugs* =(
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