Friday, October 14, 2011
notes on fasting
I just wrote an email to one of my ana buddies about fasting. And after I sent it I realised that it was actually a pretty good description of what it was like for me. So I have posted it below. If any of you reading has ever considered fasting, I highly recommend it. Please read how I found it and I hope that it encourages some of you to try it.
"Oh hun, I really, really suggest you try fasting then. I used to be just like that. I felt like I needed food all the time and I never really felt like I could go without it and I really struggled to eat less.
Then one day, I had a really bad day and thought stuff it, I'm not going to eat today just so that I can say I achieved something today. And believe me, the first couple of hours are tough. I was so used to eating because I was bored or sad or whatever. And the first couple of hours were just wanting to eat because that's what I normally do. And once I passed that stage and real hunger set in, it got harder because then I was actually hungry and I wanted to eat. But I just thought, I have to do this and so I didn't eat. And when I passed the point of hunger, I was so proud!
I think by then I was running on pure adrenalin and I was in awe of me not eating food for that long and not being hungry. By then I was so far into my fast that I thought I can't give up now. Let me tell you, once you reach this stage you feel so mighty and powerful. It's so hard to explain, it's something you have to experience to understand it. 18hours in, no food, not feeling hungry, wired on adrenalin and you are simply filled with a rush of power.
I had never felt so in control in my life. There are simply no words to describe the amount of power that filled me. I knew at that point that I could do it and so that first experimental fast of mine lasted 2 days. And I didn't feel hungry, I was perfectly happy drinking cups of hot tea and coffee. It was a 2 day long high, I'd never felt so happy, the emptiness in my tummy reminded me of lightness, I was in control, of everything.
And once you've felt it, you'd do anything to feel it again. So for a while I did week long liquid fasts and nothing I've ever done has made me feel that accomplished.
It may not be an easy first step to take but you will have to just bite the bullet and pick a day and fast for 24 hours. Then you understand that you can go without food, you understand that you don't need food at all and that you feel a whole lot better without it. It's the drug that makes you thinner!
I did 5 day fasts and then ate on weekends for about 3 months and dropped lots of weight. Then I got really anaemic and that made me really short of breath and then I started getting super bad muscle spasms in my feet because I was so low in potassium. I never told anybody because I didn't want to be hospitalised, but I did have to start eating more again. Now I fast in a more controlled manner but still, nothing comes close to that feeling.
With summer approaching again I will start the fasting again and I will drop the weight!"