Friday, December 30, 2011

the fat jeans

Hello my lovelies!!! I'm back from Singapore. And to find that I have 60 followers? What! I'm amazed! Hello to my followers! I missed you all when I was in Singapore, and I thought of you all at every meal. 

And let me tell you, every meal was a binge fest. I've been too scared to weigh myself but I can totally feel that I'm fatter. I ate more in those 5 days than I am allowed to eat in a whole month so I bet I've gained at lot. On the upside, I'm moving out in 3 days and task number 1 is to join the gym. And I will burn this disgusting fat off. 

People in Asia are tiny as. TINY. I'm a size XS at home, but in Singapore, I am a size L. It was a thoroughly demoralising experience. But at least I know that I have the genetic potential to be very small. It's not like it's impossible for me to be thin, I just have to work hard for it. I was TOTALLY one of the fattest people there and I was so ashamed of myself. 

While I was there I threw away my fat jeans. They're my big, comfortable jeans that always fit just right when I'm at my highest weight. I threw them away because I don't ever want to get to the stage where I'm able to fit them well again. I bought myself some new jeans that are too tight. They are going to look fabulous when they are a little bit loose. And I swear, in a month's time, they will be loose. 

Just a short post for now. I sincerely hope that you are all having a good holiday and that you are all doing better than I am on the weight loss front. I will catch up with your blogs as soon as I can and also post a longer entry. I'm sort of feeling lost with the new year approaching and me moving soon, and me trying to avoid contacting the professor but also needing to contact him for work...I'm so confused. I need to sort out my head and work out what I'm going to do next. I'm scared. 

I really missed you all, and to my new followers, or to anyone really. If you want me to follow your blog, just message me. I can't work out who I am following because blogger doesn't seem to tell me of all the blog updates. 

I hope to have some good news for you all on the weight loss front soon! 


  1. Wow Singapore! I hope you had an amazing time there. I would say I would love to go but some people I know came back from a vacation there and said that you can't chew gum there? That would be the end of me.
    But maybe with all those tiny people their to look at and copy how they eat and exercise and stay so skinny wouldn't be too bad.

    And what's this I here about you being and XS? Amazing! I'm a M that can fit into certain size S clothes so you're doing way better than me!

    That's a good idea to through out your old, fat clothes. I should do that. I actually was cleaning out my closet awhile ago and found a pair of jeans that was way to big for me now (size 5) that was a 12. very sad thinking about how big I was and how big I still am. But the weird thing was, was that I was looking at the tag and the designers name was A.N.A. Weird how that was on my bigger pair of jeans.

    Don't worry to much about the binges. You've got a new pair of jeans to fir into! I know you can do it!

  2. i'm so sorry that you had to go through binge-festness :(. i hope you're just feeling better. if you're gonna cut down, cut down very slowly. if your body's used to 2,000 for example, cut down 500 every day rather than just jumping to something like 500 a day - that is totally cue for disaster. a lot of times i'd find that if i cut down even to 1,000 after a binge, i just feel sluggish and so hungry i end up binging again. fucking cycle.

    fattest people? you're damn tiny though! wow. if i go there, they'd probably look at me like i'm obese. my maids are both from Indonesia and there, people are tiny. i know one of my maids said her measurements were the same as mine, even though she's like 110lbs. i just cocked my head and looked at her. how is that even possible-
    i just found out my aunt has 26" pants. so i made it my missing to be able to buy myself some, and even smaller soon, hopefully. i will be the tiniest in my family. it will be my mission. <3
    my fat jeans won't stay on me.
    even with a belt. like, if i wear them, they will literally DROP because they really, REALLY don't fit anymore. with a belt, i look like i'm trying hard to be gangster, and a lot of belts, i had to make holes myself because they don't fit! <3 awesome!
    i'm on my period. i don't know about my weight. fucking bloat. fucking blood.
    ahhhhhhhhhhh. i missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeee you.
    -Sam Lupin