Thursday, April 21, 2011


I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

In the words of "Creep" by Radiohead and it describes e-x-a-c-t-l-y how I feel in general. Exactly. I could never have put it better myself. At the end of the day, all the diets, the exercise, the clothes, the make up and hair, it's all in pursuit of perfection.

I'm so flawed it feels like I'll never get there but each step closer to it is an improvement and I've got to take what I can get. I can't wait to be thin. I wish I could wake up one day and be thin. Or not wake up at all.

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