one step forward, three steps back

Well, I could've guessed that this week wasn't going to go so well. Not only did I not lose a single ounce of weight, I've gained half a kilo. W-hat a binge week. Honestly. In the past week I've eaten enough to cover like 2 weeks worth of food. I don't know what happened. It's like, my first really bad binge since I started this diet and while on the one hand, I kind of know that it's was inevitable and going to happen eventually, it doesn't make me feel any better about it.

So I've finally somehow come to terms with the fact that I will definitely have to start exercising. *sigh*. I'm so stuck in a rut right now. I feel like I've made so much progress and lost this weight but after this binge I really feel like I'm back to square one. Logically I know I'm not, I've lost like more than 10kg but it annoys me that I can't keep up the restriction. But I am getting better at it so maybe it's just a time factor.

I'm going to try to restrict even more next week and the week after that I'll be back home on holiday when I can exercise all day and lose the fricken weight. I just want to be thinner.

I've bought some tops that are too tight to try and motivate myself. Like, they fit me but they are clearly clearly too tight. One is a normal size 6 and it is so unbelievably narrow. Just looking at it on the hanger impresses me. I can't believe I can get into it at all but it is stretchy material. The other is a size 8 and it fits but is tight as well. I can't wait till I can fit the size 6 one and I'm not busting out of it.

One day! I know I can get there. I might be down and out right now but I must pick myself up. Just not right now. I need to wallow a little bit more.