Saturday, May 7, 2011


So many things tell me it's not good to purge, to not go down that way. And I can't. Because no matter how much I want to, I can't purge. I stand there in the bathroom and I just can't throw up. I'm so nervous I can't even stick a finger down my mouth to help. Sometimes though, the only thing that will help me is to purge (like now) but I just can't do it!

Do any of you girls have any tips for me? Like a, how to purge (for dummies)? I've only just eaten and I don't even know how soon afterwards I have to do it. I can feel that I've put on at least 1kg. Which sucks balls. I am going to liquid fast for most of next week and only eat dinner if I have to. But this sucks. I want to throw all this food up and I feel sooooo full up and bloated from my binge (stupid mother's day lunch) and I just want to get rid of it all so I can feel better.

I know it's the only thing that will make me feel better but I just don't know how to do it! I don't know what it's like but I'd hate for it to be some sort of massive struggle with lots of retching. I just want to stand there, bend over, have it all come out then be done with it. Is that even realistic? Or am I dreaming of some ideal world where purging is as easy as that?


  1. Don't purge! It will rot away your tooth enamel (which is a sure way to get caught!) and can cause esophogial cancer (the kind where you have to have a mic to your throat to talk if you survive). If you are feeling bad about a binge, then fast for the next couple days to cleanse your body!

  2. I know you feel so horrible, but remember when I started throwing up? You encouraged me to stop because I'd throw all my hard work away for yellow teeth. And you said you wanted to be in control of what went in your mouth. I think we should start again. I think we've held our breath for so long we started freaking out. Maybe we just need to take a deep breath and try. I'm fasting tomorrow, I have work at the salon and then TKD. Fast with me? xxx